So it’s been 5 days since I last posted on here. Ever since I wrote on here I’ve been thinking about suicide constantly. Last night I went and drove around, just to think. I ended up parking by a bridge in the middle of no where and thinking for hours. Its really comforting the more I’ve thought about it. I’ve gone as far as making my plan and writing my notes. 5 more days, just 5 more. Life is too damn depressing and repetitive.
I guess I really don’t know where to start. I’m 20, not very good looking and have a hard time making friends. I’m in the National Guard for my state, graduated highschool from a military academy. My family hasn’t ever been close. My mother commited suicide when I was 10 and my brother and I found her. Since I was about 14 I’ve thought about suicide, but not because I have a terrible life, more so its because I fear what the future holds. I think of life as seemingly pointless, we go to school to secure a decent job, work a job to provide […]