I am a wave traveling here and there
Always moving
Forever wandering
Waiting for something to stop me
Crashing on the shore
Being pulled right back in again
I want to die. I want to leave this place. All I want to say is… I AM SORRY. I am sorry I am so broken. I am sorry I don’t make any sense. I am sorry I am a burden. I am sorry I have gotten in the way. I am sorry for leaving you, but I am also sorry I stayed so long. I am sorry I am the way I am. I am sorry I am sick. I am sorry I haven’t done or said the right things. I am sorry I haven’t tried hard enough. I know this is my fault […]
I feel like I am drowning. I jumped into the sea thinking I could manage myself and now I am sinking. It is too late to learn how to swim. I will soon be lost in these waves that crash over me. With no more air to breathe and no more strength to fight I will soon be just a memory… And then nothing…
I am okay. I mean, I may want to die, but I am okay with that. I don’t care about much anymore. It’s hard because everyone wants to help, kind of. They don’t want you to kill yourself. So they tell you how you have so much to live for, how they would feel if you left, how nothing lasts forever. I know nothing lasts forever. I just don’t see a reason to keep going, but I do keep going because I don’t really have a choice. What I wish they would see is that there is pain even when I do keep going.