Andynay

Pills and alcohol, my only respite in this world.

I have tried to kill myself 7 times, 4 I have woken up in ICU and cannot understand how I was saved. I have been out of the last psych internment for 3 months and less than 4 days of that I have been sober.

I lived for 2 years with severe suicidal ideation. Have bipolar, sever clinical depression and so badly want to die. My body still fights, but I am lost. I have had bulimia, severe anorexia (BMI 14), self harm, cutting, hanging attempts and now I binge eat and feel so, so bad.

I want out, […]

It isso obvious now.

Goodbye

Drunk again, almost 3 months now. I have to hit the streets again.

I am so tired, I want it to end and sooner or later it will.

Bye, Hejda, Auf Weidewiesen

Andrew

I hate the night before my next therapy session.

Talking never helps, nor meds, ECT, numerous trips the last 3 years in and out of psychiatric hospitals. My background into depression started almost normally (trauma in life that set off a spiral). How that spiral has turned into the last 3 years I will never know.

Over 22 months of the last 36 in hospital, 6 suicide attempts (3 I really should have died but was saved), self harm, anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism and the last 6 months homelessness. Out of my last hospital visit 2 months ago and have been almost continually drunk every night just to […]

I was last here for almost 18 months ago. I cannot remember the username I had then, something to do with light.

I have tried 7 times to kill myself, at least5 have been serious and I have survived.

I am 36 or 37, I actually do not know how old I am. Anorexia, severe depression, alcoholism, self harm, cutting and a search for death.

I want to die, please, somebody tell me why I should not?