He loved my husband
I acted like I loved everything he did
But really I wanted the attention
I protected his every decision as a child
I was there for him when no one else was
But why did he love my husband
My husband houdinied him
He was the drug addict
He was the alcoholic
He was the cheater
He never returned my phone call
Now I’m the alcoholic
Now I’m the cheater
And I won’t return his phone call
The it boy
The it man
My boyfriend
My husband
The man that tore my heart open and left it on the ground to let people fiend off of
The love lost
The love living
The love torn from both sides
Seeping into eternity
What will life hold
But a fray of exisistence
I’ve been beatin
I’ve been shamed
I’ve been lost for so long
My family doesn’t know me
My friends aren’t there anymore
I don’t know where to go
I don’t know…………
I see people walk
I see people talk
It’s not your fault, I say to the people that help
It’s becoming a fault without end
I don’t want to die
But feel livid within
I love my loves
I hate my hates
But right now all I want is happiness with him
Time is here
Time is gone
Love is near and love is high
Love is deep
Love is uncertain
Love is lingering
Love is nigh
Love is without
Love is sin
If taking to a deeper self
Love will reign high
In high school I was bombarded by cliques. By people that hated me. I grew attached to drug dealers that were adults. I loved myself but hated myself. I cut and it eased the pain in my heart for a little while. It helped me cope. Suicide is never the answer. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted everything to stop. To stop the clocks. To stop the hate. To stop everything that gradually came to an end. I got pregnant at 16. My world began. As I looked on at the baby shower that my family constructed I was awed and amazed it […]