When you are bipolar life is like a giant roller coaster. You go up and you go down… And if you’re really lucky you hit a plateau and you just sort of coast along for a while… I finally hit a plateau this morning. Yesterday I was so close to life being over… But this morning the fog lifted, and life goes on.
I’ve stopped worrying when I think about death at night. It’s when it visits in the morning that causes concern. I’ve somehow made it through 50 years…lived a lifetime with bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder…and I’m still here. Somehow I have to beat the odds.
So far, I am.
Goodnight world. Perchance to dream- perchance to sleep…
On my wrists and at my feet,
My containment, now complete.
To hell they say, will be my way –
Leaving dreams to fade away.
Hollow now, I sit and stare –
Recalling deeds that got me there.
I hope my friend will come to call,
Dressed for death and standing tall.
Ready now, I close my eyes –
My heart is slow and tranquilized.
Surrender now – the only way
I wait for him to call by day.
Late last night he left my bed,
And took the halo from my head.
An empty shell was left behind,
A pretty face without a mind.
I sit within my gilded cage,
The need has left to turn the page.
Crying out brings no […]