biru

I was already at the sidewalk, ready to jump. The trucks were fast and keep coming and jumping was all I can think about. As the truck went closer I was so ready to throw myself on the road.

Yet I didn’t jump.

I don’t know what stopped me at the time. I saw the truck went and I was still at the sidewalk. For a brief moment I thought, “Maybe one day I’ll be filled with so much I’ll find out why I don’t jump.”

Now here I am. Alive and breathing. Yet what I have been doing ever since is regretting my decision at the time. […]

The reason I said I’m all right on my own is because I’d rather be alone because I chose to, instead of dealing with desperate attempt of socializing, only to receive rejection.

I feel like a puzzle piece that simply doesn’t fit.

I hate how they are all normal, being happy over happiness and being sad over sadness, and I am an emotional wreck instead. I hate worrying about things people don’t even remember. I hate how at some point they tell you they’ll stay and leave you the next day. I hate how I say how I feel only to get responses of confusion and mocks. I hate […]

I have been having suicidal thoughts for so long.

I thought I could maybe talk to someone who is also having ones. I thought maybe we could share story and make each other feels better. And lately, I found two persons in my school with the same problem.

The first one (M) is such a cute girl, with big beautiful eyes and active social life. She has this large group of friends, telling her how great she is, giving her advices, assuring her that she is strong, telling her she is missed when she is not around. She is a cheerleader with a lot of boys chasing […]