It took me long enough to seek help but it’s taking forever to actually get any! I feel like I’ll end it before I get on top of that ‘waiting list.’ So frustrating. I’m done. Only getting help because I love my family but I really can’t wait this long. I’m so tired. Going back to that bottle of whiskey. Atleast it’s of some comfort. Helps me ‘keep up appearances.’
I’m feeling suicidal. I’m close with my family so have put off acting on those feelings. But I have felt like this for years now. One day this overwhelming anxiety overcame me and my life has been at a standstill since then. I find it hard to leave the house sometimes, and haven’t had a job in years as when it comes to my first day at a new job, this crippling fear overtakes me and I’m too scared to enter the building. I have debt worries too. I’m really good at hiding it somehow since my family don’t have a clue about all this, […]
When I first started feeling depressed and suicidal I didn’t go through with ending it all because I held onto the hope that things will surely get better, and I could find a way to fix everything. That was 5 years ago and I’m still waiting for things to get better …….
I’m running out of reasons to wait…
Would you rather have a second chance in life like reincarnation after death or is the idea of there being nothing else after death more preferable? I personally am living a life of regrets so getting an opportunity to start again in another life is a comforting thought in some ways, like a clean slate. On the other hand however, there’s no way of knowing what circumstances you’ll be born into, it might be worse than the first life.
Do you think it’s better that we know we have the option to end our lives ourselves or would it have been better if we did not know it was possible for us to commit suicide? Does knowing we can kill ourselves make us give up more easily and not look for a solution than if we didn’t know suicide was an option?
I don’t know if that make sense just curious as to other people’s opinions.
I used to love the night because I could just sleep and forget everything for a while. But now, the silence and the insomnia, it forces me to focus on things I’m trying to forget. Sometimes  I try and figure out how my life spiralled into such a mess.
I feel like I’m constantly lying to prevent anyone knowing how I really feel. I feel like a failure and don’t know how to start again. I wish I used my past opportunities better, but this horrible depression feels so debilitating that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. No one knows I want to kill myself. Suicide, Â it’s always in the back of my mind like a comfort, that if things get worse I can always get out of this life. My life has become that trivial to me now, that the thought of dying is a comfort.