at this point, i know that no matter what happens in my life, things won’t get better. i’ve tried medication, therapy, religion, relationships, solitude, starvation, exercise, self-harm. i can’t look at myself in photographs and the thought of leaving the house and having people see me makes me feel physically ill. i often start crying randomly in public and can’t stop — it is embarrassing and has ended friendships. i am so sad that i am nearly unbearable to be around. even my closest friends need breaks from my company, and while i understand on some level, it’s also painful and makes me feel distanced […]
