So this is where I admit that I want to die. Not in the take a bunch of pills, eat a bulled, slash my wrists, kind of way. But in a I’m sick of “dealing” with shit and I just want to cease to exist. I’ve thought about killing myself, and the pain it would cause some of the people that know me is pretty much the only thing stopping it. Social media is good for making you feel connected, even when you’re not…really connected. It’s funny, (raise the peoples eyebrow, not haha) if you know me I wonder if […]
I looked back on some of the things I had written and realized that they didn’t apply to the rules of this website. So I deleted them. Up to this point, this message doesn’t apply to the rules of this website, so I should delete it. Until now. I can not stop thinking about killing myself. It’s everywhere I turn, everywhere I look. Eating dinner…stab myself in the jugular with my steak knife. Riding to work…just swerve in front of the oncoming traffic. Going to sleep…maybe I should take all my sleeping pills. I can’t get away from it.
Am I supposed to stop thinking about suicide when I’m “cured” or am I just supposed to stop telling people how I really feel. Because I’m really getting tired of the (raised eyebrow) how are you doing? (concerned crinkle of the forehead) How are you feeling today? Really frakkin’ tired.
I want to erase myself. not kill myself, but erase myself, I feel empty. I wish my parents would never have given birth to me. I don’t want to be a memory I want to dissappear. To have never existed.