Not anywhere, not anytime, not anymore. I really feel like dung has been thrown at me and I can’t shower it off. I’m going alone to my room now because I’m getting mean and pessimistic. I swear it’s the atmospheric pressure….Please won’t someone just run me over with a car?!
I have a long night to decide.
When it rains it always brings feelings back to me. I like the rain, no matter how cold it is outside, no matter hot it is. It is dark now and my window is open I am listening to the rain and I am crying. My husband sits in his tv room and readying himself for work. I want to run outside in my underwear and t-shirt, lay on my back on the wet grass and just let the raindrops pelt off my face. But….the embarrassment would be too great for my husband to handle and he’d drag me in scolding me telling me I’m acting like […]
Nothing to say really…I’m so lonely my life sucks. Lonely even in a room of people. I don’t have friends. I gave em all up. My smile is a big fake. I’m not really sure what I mean.
I try to see the never forever but it eludes me. My kids tell stories that make me feel like I failed them. I tried the best I could. I still do. I honestly don’t think they’d care much if I wasn’t around. When I kid about that I get “OH STOP”. I guess it’s good minds can’t be read. I try to talk to Jeff about my feelings and he just blanks out. He thinks it’s his fault somehow. So far from the truth but impossible to make a convincing argument.