drift_along

So a few days ago my girlfriend tried to kill herself! And she said that it was to get my attention…and so today she calls me from the hospital and tells me her mother just tried to kill herself also, and she’s at risk for a heart attack!

And so it’s like ALL of this shit is my fault! All of the arguments we’ve been getting into are my fault! And her trying to kill herself is my fault and her mom, in return,trying to kill herself is my fault!

So I guess maybe on top of all the other stuff going on if I just completely […]

I have a theory that nothing ever gets better, you just keep trying to tell yourself that you don’t have the time to kill yourself right now, there’s too much that your have to do before you go. Such as go to work, pay bills, be and adult; and pretty soon it’s at the back of your mind, and of course your still pretty sad but your too busy adulting that you don’t have time to realize it. and you keep telling yourself that your okay….until your not…and that’s when all the lies hot you the hardest and you think your too old for this, […]

so i have been doing okay, one of those just getting by kind of things.  But today i had a complete horrible day and i really want to give up. and its like you have been doing good all this time and to let something like this get you so far down that your contemplating suicide is just preposterous right. but still i cant help but think about it. im tired and i cant keep doing this. i cant stand everyday “just getting by”. and thats one thing that no one understand. first of all i have to stay home instead of going off to […]

so I know I haven’t been on here in a while but I wanted to give you guys an update. I’ve been doing pretty good finally got me to a point where im stable. I can say I truly have changed and although I still do have those thoughts ive learned to control them instead of letting them control me. I guess I just take each day as it comes. Im still dealing with my anxiety a lot.but that’s something that I feel will never go away.now im just doing things that I enjoy doing like listing to music and reading and arts.and my favorite […]

So i havnt been on here in awhile but i need some advice really bad so me and my brother just got into a fight and he threw up in my face how i had to keep swiching school due to bullys and how i tried to kill myself andi didnt cry in front of him but now that im alone i cant stop i mean how could you say that to someone and now im feeling very suicidal i just cant take it in this house anymore and i want out not only this house but this life idk what to do i need […]

Okay so this week has actually been good so i guess theres no need for me to go back into the hospital

I finaly got out the house but wishing i didnt because i just feel lile crying have so many negative thoughts that i wish could just go away right now im supose to be happy this is a party and yet i want to cry i need to go back home

Im giving myself a week and id im not feeling better or my feelings get worst then im checking myself back into the hospital

i know that i need to be back in the hospital but i just dont want to go but these thoughts that i am having are just not right .i just dont understand i just got out the hgospital and im still extremly suicidal.i cant keep going on like this it hurts so bad every since i got out the hospital all i can do is cry, cry because of my pain cry because i dont understand, and cry begging god to just end it all an i know these thoughts are highly dangerous and any day now i could act upon them.i just need […]

Havent really been on here latly because i was back in the hospital bt i feel alot better glad i went in because before then i was extremly suicidal so im happy for my decision i made

I just cant stop thinking about dieing ive tried everything but it just want leave my head

Im so used to being in pain that when im not i just feel so numb

These wombs wont seen to heal this pain is just to real theres just to much that time can not erase

…… i love this song

I want to talk to someone but jist dont know what to say where to start i just need help