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I think… feel… know I’m worthless. This feeling of worthlessness  does not solely originate from external factors. I’m a lazy sonofva, an unmotivated fool, a academically inept, and pretty much a waste of space of a human being. Those are some the sources of my pitiful wanting to end it all. However, as weird as it may sound, when I “tried” to actually “end it”, at the moment of knowing it will all be over, I felt joy, relief, and “not” depressed. Obviously I am still alive evidenced by me typing and sharing this and also I’m not in a hospital or any medical institution. […]