I was having one of those moments where you decide, “this is fucking it, I’m gonna turn my life around.” Â That did not last long, but I do have one reminder of it in the form of the word “survive” tacked onto my wall. Â I feel like it should hearten me but it doesn’t; it just reminds me of how impossible that’s becoming for me. Â I don’t want to live but I’m scared of death, of the pain involved. Â The thought of getting up and going about my day tomorrow just makes me fucking sick. Â I feel so trapped and I don’t know what to […]
I have tried to kill myself 6 times. Â I still cut. Â None of my friends have noticed a goddamn thing; all my family can do is make me feel guilty instead of trying to help. Â I told some of my friends but all they could do was tell me they hadn’t fucking noticed or give me callous advice. Â I just am so exhausted. Â I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Â I’m unwanted. Â But I really don’t want to die in pain; my attempts were all with pills and did absolutely nothing. Â I’m just so sick of this. Â Why don’t I deserve […]