One time I’m flooding with emotions, the other I’m feeling absolutely nothing. Feeling numb or feeling way too much.
I don’t like neither one, to be honest.
I just wish I knew how to stop.
I thought I hit rock bottom this weekend. I could barely get out of bed, and I didn’t do ANYTHING I had to do, no work, just staying in bed and watching movies I really didn’t care about. I tried to reach out for friends, but literally none of them wanted to go out, and it made me feel worse. Rejected. I was on the edge, thoughts about suicide invading my mind and I couldn’t control my crying.
I woke up today feeling completely different. I’m not that sad anymore, just numb, as if everything I’ve been feeling for the past three days is something really distant. […]
You get so alone at times that it just makes sense.
The only thing stopping me from doing anything is knowing how my mother would feel.
It’s hard, but tomorrow I’ll be better.