I will probably be joining an online school. Can anyone who has participated in that please tell me how it is and gie me some insight? Thank you.
I feel sad, empty, alone.
I am scared, exhausted, hurt.
I wanna scream, cut, cry.
Can I please just die.
since birth the only thing i’ve needed to be content is people, I need to feel your heart beating, i need to hear your chest breathing. I need to see someone is there, someone cares but lately I don’t. I’m alone. I’m lonely. I think it’s slowly killing me.
So tonight is NYE. Everyone has plans, parties to go to, midnight kisses and i’m alone. It’s a reminder of how alone I am. I have nobody. And I can’t even pretend i’m okay anymore because i’m not, and i hurt, a lot.
Tonight I gave in. I now have four more reminders of the battle i’m fighting, and my demons within. Blood stained wrists, I wish I would’ve never started.
Today is my third day of not cutting.
I am proud.
This may seem small but every day I go without  mutilating my own  skin is one day closer to  clean wrists again.
When I was five and fell off my bike, where were you?
When I was seven and had a bad dream, where were you?
When I was twelve and girls were mean, where were you?
Well i’m fifteen now and i’m dying.
Where are you?
I thought for maybe one day I could go without hurting myself.
Guess I was wrong. I’m running out of places to cut.
It’s sad because my mom thinks i’m doing better today.
I wish she could tell i’m hours away from ending my life.
Honestly,
i’m tired of being alone.
i’m tired of crying in bed every god damn night.
i’m tired of  never being right.
i’m tired of the blood on my wrists.
i’m tired of the scars on my hips.
i’m tired of the never ending hurt in my heart and ache in my head.
i’m tired, and I wish I was dead
It’s like every day it is a challenge to breathe.
It’s like i’m drowning, but I can’t move.
It’s like all I feel is hurt.
It’s like i’m alone in a crowded room.
It’s like i’m begging for help but nobody comes.
It’s like i’m dead, but my heart keeps beating.