I need help. I have talked to three different people and none seem to help. One was way to religious for me and the other was to like dont worry you’ll be okay and the other was telling me to run away. Like cant anyone help me. I’m dying on the inside over here and no one seems to notice or care or understand what to say. Like I my god just is it that hard to make me slightly steel better.
I don’t know what to do. I know I need help  but I don’t know where to turn. I feel hopeless and helpless. I’m so lost. I’m losing myself. I need help.
Somedays I believe I won’t be okay. I know I’m suppose to try to get better but it’s so hard trying to push myself through each day. I think the only thing that has me going is wondering what the future will hold . I wonder where my sister will be 20 years from now or where my brother will be and what he will be doing. I wonder if ill ever later on ill find out what my purpose in life is because right now I’m doing the same things as many others.
I’m falling apart. Everything and everyone I once cared about dont matter to me anymore. I use to be a really good soccer player and loved it but now when I play I don’t feel the same happiness I use to. I don’t care about some of my friends anymore. I feel like they all are fake and will leave me like my last friends . I just seem not to care about anything really.
What do you do if you live with people who wont accept you for who you are ?
I had a bad day today. In class I started to think about everything that’s been going on with me and started to cry. Everyone was asking what happened and I would just say nothing or I’m okay.
no matter how hard non suicidal people try to understand what’s wrong they never get it . they never understand our problems or what to say to them.
When I go to school people never notice how fake I act. I always pretend to be happy and force a fake smile when all I want to do is cry. I would tell someone about my problems but I’m not close enough to someone to tell them. I don’t want to pretend anymore. It’s painful trying to act happy .
sometimes I  wish I just died.  I looked into suicide but couldn’t find anything that would kill me for  sure. I don’t want to wake up in a hospital.  I also want go peacefully as possible.  I don’t want a messy suicide . I just wish that  i could die