furrball

I feel sick, inside out
Feel like I’m sinking, even in this drought
The sudden urge to disappear in the thin air
Tired of living this life in utter despair.

Tired of trying to fit in
I regret letting people in
Tired of picking myself up
I jus really feel so stuck

I feel like m living an empty dream
I want to shout, n I want to scream

I used to cut, but I recently stopped because I made a promise to my friend. And honestly speaking I don’t even have an urge to cut anymore. It’s much worse. I can’t stop thinking about killing myself. I even tried overdosing on some random pills. But I guess I’m not very lucky. Every night I have this shitty feeling. I’m tired of myself. And worst thing is that I can’t talk to anyone about it, mostly because no one cares.

Can someone tell me an easy way to kill myself in a single attempt? Please I’m desperate.

Sometimes I’m overflowing with emotions that i dont even understand what exactly I’m feeling. But there are times ,like today , that I go so numb that no matter what happens ,I won’t feel a thing. It’s so weird like even if someone really close would die now I won’t shed a single tear. I iM so lost .

Sometimes I’m so tired of being there for everybody. Its like I want to be there for them but I’m so messed up inside out and so empty at times that I dont know what to say to make them feel better. It’s so selfish and i hate myself for it but at times I can’t help it.

I haven’t cut in a while now because i promised my friend. I’m not sure that i can keep that promise for a long time. I’m way too messed up to stick to that promise.

I haven’t cut in a while now because i promised my friend. I’m not sure that i can keep that promise for a long time. I’m way too messed up to stick to that promise.

i think ive gone numb. i don’t feel anything.

Why do you blame yourself ,
for the things that have gone wrong?
why do you hurt yourself?
you are way more strong.

There is a lot of pain in you,
You need to let it go.
You holding back tears in your eyes,
you need to let them flow.

You hiding the pain behind your smile,
somehow it still shows.
you have a sorta pretty laugh,
you should laugh a little more.

I have been thinking and thinking
To speak what I have in my mind.
I have been failing and failing
Every single time.
Either I have too much to say,
Or maybe my vocabulary sucks to my dismay.
I have tried to talk to the people I know,
I have tried to write it and show.
But I’m just used to hold everything in
And sadly some how it shows on my skin.
Bottled up feelings, tears I don’t cry,
My jumbled up pieces ,eat me up inside.,
My heart feels a pain, it’s hard to describe,
The tears that I cried, killed […]

You don’t know me,
you’re not even close.
You see that I’m happy,
But that’s what I show.

Yes, I’m smiling
But I am tearing up inside.
Yes, I’m laughing
You can’t see the tears I’ve cried.

You think , you like me
You are so wrong
You like the picture you’ve painted,
where I look strong.

My eyes, they water
I don’t really cry
My heart, yes , it beats
My hopes, they have died.

Yes, I’m alive
But I don’t really live,
You might think I wake up,
when I don’t really sleep.

I wait for the day
when this will come to an end
I wish I […]