I feel it
Im ready to die
I’m incredibly tired of sadness and pain and disappointment
I have never known my father
My step father died of cancer
months later my mother got colon cancer
she eventually got better, but her kidneys were damaged
she had a kidney transplant which was unsucessful
and so she lives attached to a machine
how can God be kind
when a women who loves him has suffered so much
how can I believe he is kind
it is not enough to be alive
it is not
i would rather go
but i worry it will kill my mother
and my sisters will be alone
and it makes god even more unkind
because he is unkind
yet makes it […]