you know, i posted a few times, and i got really nice people commenting, but then there’s the others blunter ones. i’m not hating on yall, i’m not blaming on yall, in fact, i like your bluntness, don’t lose your bluntness. but when you tell me i need to “learn how to enjoy life without depending so much on other people”, i’m sure you meant to help me. i’m sure you’re just sick of this person who is so fucking needy. but do you think i haven’t tried? how can i depend on myself when all i do is make myself feel miserable? do you […]
i’ve tried. i really did. i gave everyone around me at least one chance to try and help me. but no one actually bothered. and i can’t tell anyone, because i feel fidgety whenever i tell anyone. because of all sorts of things. i’m detached from the world, i don’t have any true friends who will be there with me 24/7, even in front of my closer friends, i still have to pretend. why? because i’m scared they will all run away the moment they see all my flaws. i’m scared that once people see the real me, they won’t want to be […]
lately, i’ve had a new problem pop up. i’ll feel fine once, and suddenly, i’ll feel so angry, and get worked up over the littlest of things, and then sad and i’ll start crying, and whatever the hell comes. what is wrong with me it’s fine if it’s a while, but it’s been going on for a while honestly fuck this
honestly i’m just so fucking tired of everything.
i’ve gone past the stage of feeling depressed, to the feeling empty and numb inside. everyday, i’m walking around like a zombie, my mind blank and not really listening to anything, yet on the outer side, i seem to be laughing and socialising. and it wows me just how much a smile can hide. haha.
what future do i have in life? everyday, it’s just the same thing over and over again, if you’re a student, going to school, coming back home, occasional trips out with your friends, if you’re a working adult, going to work, coming back home, […]
i don’t know, i’m not even that old. but life just seems so tiring and pointless, every day, i do the same thing, and i don’t even do it well, and i just can’t find the energy to do anything. yet in front of everyone i have to put up a smile, and act like i’m ok with this life. and maybe i need to quote megan louisa garcia when i say it seems like right now, the most i can hope for is persevering through life, not enjoying it, not living it, and that’s really not what i want. at times, i just feel […]