homoixtab

After last summer’s episode with a 5/8 in blade, I realized I could and needed to go much deeper. The question was how far? I looked at my body with a small, but variable layer of fat over my abdominal muscles and the thickness of those muscles.  I wanted to get the blade just inside the abdominal cavity just to see if I could.

I have a knife with a five inch blade. It is a Gerber dagger with a very sharp double edge and not too wide. Even going 1.25 inches, it would cause a wound only .5 inches wide or so. I measured off […]

[Admin Note: The images in this post may be extremely triggering.

Do not proceed further if images of self-harm are triggering to you.]

I have overwhelming desires to stab myself in the gut with a dagger.  I have even done this a few times in an exhibitionist way on video.  I’ve allowed as much as 1.25 inches of the blade to go inside my gut with a kind of a safety wrapped around the blade, but I want to go deeper.  I don’t know where this came from, but I need to do it.  The pain is minimal as it only penetrates the skin, small layer of fat and into the muscle a little bit.  It bleeds and I feel a kind of sexual release doing it.  I […]