My car destroyed, glasses and phone broken, and me bleeding all over the fucking pavement mistaking a concussion and shock for dying.
It was such a relief. Except then I didn’t die. Not even close. And everyone tells me it’s a miracle and all that matters is I’m here. What can you say to that? “I feel so lucky and grateful for your care. You mean everything to me. And yet, somehow despite all of that I continue to actively seek and desire death, even knowing how much it will hurt you.”
I haven’t tried to kill myself in eight years because the last time ruined everything and […]