It’s funny how once you make a decision life is a lot more calm. I know that I want to die and I know that I want it to be soon. I don’t have official plans and I don’t know if it will be on my own time or if it will be because I am careless and get into an accident. Either way will be ok. I just know it is my time to go. I feel calm knowing that my decision is made. I am in no way happy, the days are long but soon it will be over.
I’ve never been the kind of girl that you would look at and know deep down she wants to kill herself. I got straight A’s, was social and love to perform in front of people. I guess I always have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts though. To me it has always been a matter of when I would do it. I guess in the back of my mind I have always known that something was wrong with me when I would have to fake laugh with my friends but at any given moment I could have just stopped and been emotionless or when I […]