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Trina

How do I describe myself on this site? I'm out of my realm of comfort even touching a computer. I just turned 40 begining of this year. Was married to 'an officer of the law' 12 years ago. He took my kids, they are 18 and 13. And this is where i start to cry. I have been severly abused in different ways. Mostly, sexual and psychological. I've experienced this type of abuse into my adulthood. I haven't had a real serious sucide attempt in probably 10 years. Yet at the begining of May I thought I was going to drown myself. But I wasn't serious, I don't know if I have the nerve anymore. It's like I either want to know what it feels like to really live, to feel alive or I'd rather just die. Since my Mom left this earth 4 years ago June 18, there have been at least 2 times involving a car where I VERY WELL SHOULD HAVE DIED! But did not. I wasn't even trying, and it is a {?} 'mircacle' that I'm still alive. But why?! Why am I still here?

Why am I still here?!

by Trina
written by Trina

I have survived abuse, car accidents, living in gang riddin, drug-dealing neighborhood as a child, being married to a cop and having him take my kids and do weird/mind fuck type things to get back at me for leaving him, jail, drug addiction, homelesness, being outcasted from any blood family I new of (I didn’t grow up knowing family really). IDK I’ve been through a hell of alot and all I hear from people that I am strong and what am I gonna do with my life. “I have soo much potential” I’m told.
I’m sick of being here. I am sick of the […]

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