I have a great life now and an amazing wife but I don’t deserve it any of it I just sit awake at night and deny my self food and water because I don’t think I should be aloud to have things I need  I love my wife sometimes I catch myself smiling and I think how dare you smile your worthless nothing you deserve to me punched and hit burned stabbed and just anything to cause me to hurt and know how much of a scew up
