incomplete

I am so alone.

I think everyone hates me. Well, they do. They call me fat and ugly, exclude me from every conversation and whisper about me when they think I don’t hear. But I do hear. Every word. And every word hurts. I thought you were on my side. But the words sting more than ever now. I have no one to talk to. I trust one person in the entire world and he’s turned his back to me. I am so fucking alone.

That’s what they call themselves until they can’t be bothered anymore. I used to think that I had three amazing friends who listened to me when I was down, helped me through my most suicidal phase. And now, for awhile, I was better again. Now that I’m back down in that bottomless well, they – one at a time – tell me that they hate me, don’t care for me and find me really annoying. They’ve lied to me for years. “You’ll get through it, we’ll help you.” Yeah, and then drop me out of the sky. Thanks.