i felt hate towards everything. then i got mad at God. now i am just sad. I wont slip into despair this time. i just really wish i could cry. i have not shed a tear in years. i have wept with joy. i remember feeling that happy. i feel the urge, but tears wont come. meh…..
i see myself as a realist. the glass is full to me half with liquid and half with vapor; but it’s all water. i will never tell anyone that it gets better. the older i get, the harder everything is. i do think it is worth getting out of bed each day, even if i’m not working. i live for fleating moments of happiness. it’s always something simple. i take joy in nature. just a 5 minute walk can change my mood. but in general, my heart is half full of hate & half with love. i am good at hiding the hate, but after […]
I have believed ever since i survied a suisied attempt at age 15 that i will live 113 years. i am 50, almost 1/2 way there. every day, i choose to live. i also believe that if i meet God,after a natural death, i will ask it if i could please not exsist . i don’t see myself chill’n with God for an infinit amount of time.
being married helps. so does having 5 cats. i had plants, but plants & cats do not mix.
to the owners of this web site, thanks for the safe place to let this out. i feel about 5 lbs. lighter.