I need someone to talk to right now.
I dont know what to say. I am almost at peace as i write this. The idea to slit my wrists wont leave my mind no matter how i try and ive come to learn to accept it. That maybe i should do it. Maybe it is my time to die. I feel like screaming but to tired to do so. It is hard to breathe and i feel like the walls are closing in on me. I hate this feeling and want it to be over.
I hate this day completely.
God I just wish this pain would go away. I actually slept a little today since I haven’t been sleeping at all the past couple weeks and then cleaned the house a bit to keep my mind off how much I want to die. I was doing good and then my PTSD hit fast and hard. I dropped the dish I was holding and it shattered on the floor as I crumpled into a ball. As the memories flooded my mind like a bad nightmare, I was shaking uncontrollably and had a hard time breathing. I was left with a new anger all over again […]
It has been hard to go to work the last couple weeks. I love my job and am good at it….it is just in the psychiatric hospital and I wonder sometimes if I should be the one in the padded room instead. Oh my life is so contradictory.
I need help:( I want someone to Run through the door right now and save me. That won’t happen…I have everything I need to kill myself quickly. Guess this is it. Noone cares enough to stop and listen to me.
I can’t go on. I just spent the last hour trying to find something to bring me happiness to snap out of this and I can’t find any reason worth carrying on for. Everything I used to know is pretty much gone or changed. My stomach is killing me and I am numb. I look at dieing as almost a good way to be able to end this stress and pain that never goes away. It is sad, but true.
I don’t know what to do. I am stressed out and dont think i have the energy to get through yet another day. I don’t have anyone to talk me through anything since we moved. Noone cares. I am pretty sure if I died tonight, I wouldn’t be missed. I am tired of helping everyone, And putting on a happy face when nothing is okay. I want to die right now.