justanothernobody88
Haven’t had one of those in a long time.
But here I am, right now, chest tight, heart racing, pulse pounding in my ears.
I actually went out on my porch and smoked a cig to try to clear my head. The smell of the gasoline in the nearby can for the lawnmower caught my attention and I gave a long thought to dumping it over my head and spinning the striker on my lighter.
It would be an amazing, astounding pain, but dammit, it might come to an end and I would have some relief.
I’m tired. I just want a quiet moment to wrap […]
Suicide? Meh. I toyed around with it. Hesitation and the hope that life would improve as time went on always stopped me, not to mention the utter horror at trying to kill myself and surviving, only making my life worse.
I have tried it all, every good thing, every bad thing. But there’s just nothing.
I am older now than when I began. I have a wife and children. I love them.
So, I live. There’s nothing for me to live for, so I live for them.
But, dear God, I just don’t want to. I don’t want to get up tomorrow. I don’t want to watch the world […]