Like fleeting winds we travel, dipping across the slope of currents, lying suspended in the grasp of ebbing free fall, sucked into the satisfying regression of ephemeral flight. Your essence is wrapped around me, coating my spirit in the intensity of all your aggregated passion. We bear wings but no consciousness of them, allowing us to maneuver without thought and guided by the subconscious will of pure sentience. I’m beyond captivated by your presence, inebriated by the sustenance provided by your existence and the warm, chilly elation buzzing in my skin from your touch. The night swirls around us, breezes twirling and propelling our ascent, the colors blurring into a painting of dark colors and brush strokes of deep blue. I’m not aware of where we’re going and in fact I’m not aware of anything except the exhilaration of our mutual recognition. We slip into the depths of a rushing surge of wind and I can see the acceleration of racing landscape and sky. Softly our sky sailing wanes and I can feel the pressure of imminent landing, my feet brush the ground and slowly I halt. Suddenly I’m standing on my own, and somehow you’re not with me anymore.
maybe I just don’t understand myself or perhaps my perception has been distorted to the point where I can’t recognize the familiarities in me, but I just don’t know. I don’t know where my life has gone and the prospect of where it’s going scares me. I don’t know what to say, my thoughts are jumbled and hard to articulate, those emotions are ineffable and I can’t stand their presence.
I’m longing for a life I never had or perhaps a life that I feel I no longer have the ability to conceive, a life I can’t even fathom or translate into words. the world around me feels surreal and I’m not sure if that bothers me or not. I don’t like the idea of reality and I would rather not participate in any aspect of it. nothing I do satisfies me in ways I need to be satisfied, nothing fulfills the hollow pockets of my heart that ache with emptiness. I’m very sure it’s loneliness, and it carves me to the bone. I’m suspended in a fixated position of surrealism, nothing feels tangible to me and nothing imbues me with any kind of feeling. I want to run away, but not necessarily physically, I want to remove myself from reality and escape to a place where I am no longer sentient or constantly conscious. I feel as though I’ve had a good life and the conclusion is imminent.
I want to elope with the fantasies I’ve fabricated of people, I want to be in the company of people who no longer and never existed. I don’t know what I want but I know it can’t be obtained in real life. I’m not fully aware of my existence, I’m just waiting in a phase of pre metamorphoses and I don’t even know if transformation is possible. I want to transform into a different person but I can’t escape myself and it kills me. I can just imagine a world seen through the eyes of someone opposite of me, how different the world would be and how it would be seen through lenses that aren’t fractured in a way that turn life into a fantasy. my dreams and emotions are all I have and all of them break my heart with their futility.
happiness does not seem obtainable as I don’t even know what could incite happiness in me. I just wish I wasn’t such a broken person, alienated from others by my own doing but obligated to because of my intrinsic characteristics. life doesn’t seem bland or mundane, it just feels tasteless. like eating a beautiful looking meal that has no flavor at all. I can appreciate how it looks and the artistry that exists in it but I can’t derive anything from it’s indulgence. life before depression was seen through a lens in which everything was magnified so intensely that anything beyond was I was focused on could not be seen. I’ve permanently moved on from that stage in my life and can no longer find an identity that suits me. I just want to be happy with myself but nothing can make me love myself, I could look like her and I would still feel as empty. I don’t think it’s necessarily how I look that constrains me to this deep depravity but rather my mindset and how external variables have influenced it.
I feel emotions, I’m not apathetic, it’s not that I dont care, it’s that I can’t feel. I don’t know what to do and the nebulous nature of my future scares me, I don’t want to think about it yet I am forced to because my present lifestyle will greatly influence the near future. I just want to ascend my soul into the sky and become something different. maybe I wasn’t made to live this life through the eyes of someone like me. I can only imagine happiness that juxtaposes my own emptiness through the experience of someone else. I’m just rambling don’t mind me. I wish I could start all over, all from scratch, a new slate all together. I deeply miss someone and I don’t know who. I miss her but it goes beyond that and it shatters me, the longing, the pain, the nostalgia, it tears me apart to the point where i can’t function and nothing can assuage it. I just want to disappear, not necessarily die, just slip away. I don’t know what I’m talking about
I would like to claim that identical copies that are produced even on scales so precise their differences cannot be discerned even on the most insignificant level still retain their own uniqueness. In this regard, can “individuality” be replicated, thus contradict it? This isn’t going to be a rant that pertains to sentience, but rather the basic mechanics and structures of the organic. Can a synthetic human be constructed that is completely identical to a biological human in functions? Despite modern neuroscience much of the brain’s mechanics are not fully understood and how it is able to so thoroughly and efficiently operate is still a mystery in many regards. But if neuroscience does eventually progress to the point where we do understand the brain, would it be possible to synthesize something that would be able to perform every task and have the same abilities that humans are capable of and maybe transcend humans? Would it be possible to create something that can also reproduce and function exactly as organisms are able to do and could possibly do so more efficiently, possibly making biological organisms obsolete? this doesn’t pertain to suicide, sorry
“Take a leap of faith” you said
“and leave this foreign place instead
where demons breathe and dreamers die
and pain and hatred coincide”
“and then what happens?” I replied
I couldn’t even if I tried”
You took my hand and said to me
“trust me, let’s just run and flee”
we race through chasms deep and wide
where some have lived and others died
through broken lands of dust we pass
as we walk on roads of shattered glass
just you and me against the world
where hopes and dreams begin to blur
we run for days, for years and more
and witness all from birth and war
we know our destination though
but which paths are we supposed to go?
“you’re waiting for a train” you said
“one that picks up those who fled
but it doesn’t matter where it stops
because together we will always walk.”
I still remember the glint of your eyes, the vibration of your pale irises, the pinch of your cheeks as your transfiction deepens, god I remember it all. What you were staring at is lost to me, and the absence of such an essential detail carves the hollow caves of my heart even deeper. Your mouth is curved, poised to speak but frozen in the grasp of your captivation. What you meant to say is suspended on your tiny lips, like a bird furled in its cage, the door open but caught on its jutting wing, so close to being liberated yet restrained by itself. Suddenly a noise catches your attention, your face is wrenched from my gaze, your delicate body turns and suddenly you’ve vanished. I’m fastened to the ground, the hands of reality curling around my shoes, anchoring me to a dimension as inescapable as the torment of consciousness. Like celestial angels our animations chase one another, mine twisting around the tail of your ascension, yet your fleeting locomotion increments in intervals unable to be quantified. And suddenly you’re gone, leaving me corkscrewing to the ground in a hopeless plunge engendered by the unexpected loss of wings, wings gifted to me by your presence and lost by your absence
If you claimed the sky ain’t blue
I’d wear tinted shades for you
no matter what your conscious brings
I’ll see the truth in everything
through slanted sights and twisted dreams
I’ll follow you through every scene
through darkened depths and blinding highs
I’ll always have you by my side
if you said the world was flat,
I’d still believe in all of that
becauseÂ your vision stretches wide
please let it be my only guide
And if you said that red was green
I still would give you all of me
manipulate the heaven’s gleam
and delve beyond what has been seen
And if you said that fish could fly,
I’ll wait for them to sail the sky
like comets twisting high above
an endless dance of passion’s love
As night encases sky and moon
wrapped in sheets of ancient tunes
it sings of sights that haven’t yet
been seen by eyes of strangers met
And if you said the moon was cheese,
I wouldn’t say “oh yeah, ***** please”
And if you said that there is God,
your logic shall be never flawed
And if you said that love is true,
it would be because of you.
She’s sleeping across from me, her consciousness vacant in the deep slumber of winter suspension. I can feel the pulsating music of her breath, fleeting softly in its trembling exhale and the delicate flutter of her inhale. I can see the small flicker of movement beneath the thin pale of her eyelids, almost lost in her catatonic beauty. Her chest rises and quivers with its innocent vulnerability, almost audible in the emptinessÂ of the room. I’m breathing in the naked intimacy existing between her and I as I bathe in her captivating presence. I can feel her phantom dancing around me, her hands twirling, twisting in grace and precision, brushing my skin, moving in such balanced, poetic, esoteric beauty. Her apparition locks eyes with me and for a heartbeat I can see the transcendent complexity existing in her deeply secret quintessence. Â I want to touch her, explore the metaphysical landscapes of her subconscious, translate the touch of her skin into the brilliant universes she fabricates in her sleeping artistry. But alas, I’m constrained to the suffocating reality of her absence.
I want to embed myself under the furled layers of your essence, tuck myself beside the pulsating beat of your vulnerability. I want to drink you in, sip your secrets like shots of soul-warming alcohol. Intoxicate me with your purity, render me unconscious with your superiority and smother me with your suffocating beauty. Tease me with the palpable touch of your absence and speak to me in words so powerful their meaning can’t be truly fathomed. I miss the quintessence of your endless nihility.
Like a beautiful, burning inferno I want you to burst into vibrancy, your hot, explosive atmosphere lighting up the room in your scintillating brilliancy. I want to feel your heat immersing those around you, drowning them in your presence and surrounding them with the inaudible murmurings of your ruination.
Walk on me, step on me with the grace of all the dancing phantoms you have imbibed through your skin. Smear me into the mud, rake me against the ground and chisel me into a shapeless sculpture of dullness and dust. I want to be the logs you consume, the sustenance you ingest to ignite the vitality that vibrates in your veins. I want to be the unsung hero who allows you to be this flame, deplete me of my energy and ambiance and relinquish me to a pile of smoldering cinders and glowing coals.
Carve a map of your vacancy into my flesh fabricated and cultivated from the stars and sun blotted out by your breath. The iridescent glow that quivers in the sky oscillates only for you, congruous with the silent palpitations buzzing beneath my chest.
Iâ€™m choking on your nonexistence, my throat wrapped around your occupancy as tangible as dreams. In the back of my mind hums all the dreams Iâ€™ve dreamt of you, but you told me broken promises slice not stifle
Your music has no lyrics, because ghosts canâ€™t speak. And it doesnâ€™t have a tempo, because phantoms donâ€™t have heartbeats.
Once long ago, I trod upon a forgotten path. A withered, earthen, lonely thing. A disarray of crumbled stones, wispy cobwebs and a feral forest of rife undergrowth. My besotted mind was dull and addled; undaunted by this road of such a stifling ominous air. Drunk with my own relentless despair I stumbled through this foreboding path with the grace of a crippled cat. I know not when but quickly I saw my world contort, and twist with alarming intensity. My awareness was snatched by a sudden trance; my conscious smothered by gripping delusions, phantoms and nightmares galore. Before me unrolled the intricate fabric and tangible complexity of my being. Woven together by the delicate, feeble fibers of time. At the far end of this isle I glimpsed upon a dark, haggard figure. Shadowed and stained by hollow emptiness and nonexistence itself. There before me stood a being whom’s essence would never be. The disconsolate embodiment of my own nihility.
Through the thick curtains of my dazed stupor I felt an odd urge to touch such a being. A creature suspended between the abstractions and possibilities of time. A nonexistent existence. I began to trudge onward; my limbs seizing and knotting within themselves, limping and splaying in a strange, drunken, sporadic manner. The farther I continued on the abrasive carpet of consciousness and time the more increasingly bizarre and exotic the ambience became. The haunting ghosts of future lives bobbled and hung aimlessly in the fixated air around me. It had no temperature, no taste, nor had it an odor. The ghosts strayed and gaped by my side. Haunting, diaphanous creatures whom I dared not to face. A sudden, erratic spasm of my body shattered the transfixion I had been damned upon. Wrenched from my dreams and spat out into a whirling vacuum of nothingness. A chasm, an abyss of sheer disconnection and dilapidation. Flashed before was the vision of my very own quintessence and animation. A lonely, disfigured fugitive to whom nothing was to ever happen.
Frozen moments down the drain,
Ive been bitten by their mark.
Their coldness seeps into my veins
And crack my sullen heart.
Distorted by the raining wet,
An endless shroud of filmy grey,
I only see your silhouette
Stretched into the night then day.
My heart’s a bowl of tarnished tears
Carved by ceaseless thoughts of you,
worn ragged by the endless years
Of suffocating, singing blues.
I drink so memories decay,
to waste away’s my only duty.
so that my minds in disarray
Into an abyss of nightmarish beauty.
A rainbow made of rusty marrow
Ebbs into the dusk so dim,
Leaving a rainy arc so narrow
Of scattered lust beneath my skin.
My withered breath begins to rattle
a feeble flutter beneath my chest.
The shudder in my shoulders’ saddle
The hollow voice of empty guests.
Deep canyons carved into my fingers,
Clenched and blackened by the cold.
where frozen memories do linger
slipping from my waning hold
I hear them murmuring within
While lying crippled on a cot
whispering of hopeless sin
where by their side i rot
I don’t believe for a moment that the existence of an omniscient, supreme being is possible nor that most metaphysical “spiritual” philosophies are true. The connotation that my use of “spiritual” retains is more of a representation of contentment with one’s surroundings and/or themselves and the harmony that exists because of that. I find philosophy pretty boring actually although I seem to post incoherent ramblings about it, but the paradoxes and questions that require abstract and excessive thinking are such that I enjoy occupying my time contemplating. I don’t believe that there is the presence of an intangible manifestation of our utmost quintessence within us that transcends mortality or reality, this could be referred to as a “soul” or whatever. Humans are complex, organic machines and nothing more. Computers do not have “souls” therefore neither do we. We are only conscious because of our brain functions and without a brain would it be possible to say that we still have a soul? Do plants have souls? I don’t even care, I don’t believe that garbage at all, but hear me through.
As I stated earlier consciousness is just the product of brain functions, our consciousness being unique because of the unique composition of our bodily characteristics such as chemicals, genetic factors etc. It’s hard to articulate what I am trying to propose, hm. It’s an elaboration of the most cliche philosophical question “why am I me?” that’s hard to translate into words because it’s such an abstract idea. All humans are conscious (except Giants or Broncos fans) so therefore what is there to refute against the claim that we are all the same consciousness just differentiated by the composition of the body “we” inhabit? I will rephrase my question if it is hard to understand, forgive me. Thank you.
Striving Towards Nothing
Why this passion or despair?
Why hangs anguish in the air?
This endless striving toward the end
Suggests that ruin does impend.
Restless monsters sigh and speak
As I awake while others sleep,
Besieged by phantoms from a dream
And haunted by their shriek and scream.
I stand amid a tempests cry
Its rage and wind its last goodbye.
Wishing me with contrite mutters:
Beware the words and acts of others.
These dreamers lie dispassionate.
Is disregard an accident?
I shake their hollow shells awake,
But alas this is their chosen fate.
Why is life composed of loss?
And why must sorrow be its cost?
When will someone try to hear
The words that fall upon deaf ears?
Is this the face that I once knew?
I cannot recall its vacant view.
The recesses of my sunken skin
Have turned me into one of them.
Heaven’s not where God resides,
Nor are angels honest guides.
Hell is not the Devil’s place;
He’s in this land of rot and waste.
In this Martian, barren land
Upon a rustic hill I stand
on this ground no being breathes
to allow for ghastly, ghoulish deeds.
Phantoms reek of mystic smells,
And devils ring their wailing bells
Whose voices warn of blasphemy
And sing of brewing agony.
No protest comes from those deceased,
Their bodies slain with frightful ease.
A sickle formed of lust and greed
Carried out this gruesome deed.
Gods bear witness to my crime
Condemning this sold life of mine.
The children vanish in the sand
and out protrudes their withered hands
I feel my burning blood on fire
As I amass this desert pyre.
Caustic flames rise to the surface.
To kill was not my only purpose
with sickle in my hand I pass
the carnage strewn among the grass
So on this foreign craft I board
contrition being my reward
for reaping virgin souls alike
and departing in the dark of night
In this land no mortal lives
without a blade stuck in their ribs
Winds of cipher sing a dirge–
The only sound that can be heard.
A very diverse congregation of people manifest in different places for different reasons. Some of us intentionally seek areas to exist in, others stumble upon them or are involuntarily forced into such from circumstantial or outside forces. People exist mostly everywhere and anywhere within the terrestrial borderlines imposed on them by their physical limitations. Humans are unparalleled in profuse aspects. An extraordinary, exclusive element of the contemporary human being that they exist on multiple platforms of the intangible. A very meager quantity of animals are sentient in respect to self-awareness. Humans are able to embody themselves in nothing but thoughts, conceived through electrical impulses and other intricate neuro-mechanisms.
This ability allows humans to develop and liberate the furthest extent of creativity, this being demonstrated by innovation and complex inventions such as mechanical ones and abstract concepts like mathematics, art and music. Self-introspection allows for morality to develop and for consciousness of actions and emotions. Humans are constrained to basic instincts, but this ability enables convolution of these emotions and elaboration of their behavior. This meaning that both of which are more effective and have a great impact on what those qualities affect. The history of man has been a story of great tragedy and elation, but it has been one of progress as well. The apex of society is not when technology becomes advanced to the point of absolute efficiency, but rather when we become efficient within ourselves. Our nature has the potential to come to the point where we are able to fully take advantage of what it is capable of and when we do act upon this and fulfill what its ability is when humans become truly advanced.
Another intangible plain of existence utilized by mankind is the internet. The internet is a magnificent, momentous immensity that enables almost instant contact between individuals, access to an ample abundance of information and among many other privileges. The internet has impacted human nature in its various forms such as social media and political information which can create collective solidarity both intangible and physically between groups and then translate into political activism and movements. Those of which can then result in global impact, making this aspect of the internet particularly significant.Â Another product of the internet is influence on personal reflection/constructions of personal opinions of oneself. Narcissism has become a mainstream attribute accompanying many users, the “better than u” attitude present in social media sites most typically. This of course perpetuates social hierarchies, which are an infectious cancer, unfortunately defining society and culture in itself.
Yes, I do believe that the internet is the utmost representation of modern society, it being the most revolutionary construction and an incredibly imperative invention. The internet of course does not encompass humanity in its entirety though as 3rd world countries are often neglected access to this amenity and its benefits. Despite this, 3rd world countries are impacted by the internet I believe, its impact being ubiquitous seeing as though its pure function is connection and communication. Charities and other organizations which reach out to those existing outside of the perimeters of 1st world countries/those that possess access to the internet most obviously influence them physically, economically etc. the internet essentially is a medium of which anyone can utilize to impact others globally without even leaving their house or barely lifting a finger. Will the internet be manipulated to its highest capacity to ameliorate the world through moral incentive? I would like to believe so and see a trend to support this, recently being the mainstream use of individual funding sites, indiegogo, gofundme etc. The empathy and goodness that resides inherently in humans is finally being harnessed to help others and bolster innovation and diverse invention. (Vs. relying on corporations to devise new products, which they are clearly incapable of [instead resorting to patent wars to overcompensate for their lack of creativity])
The integration of both unique human morality/ability to fabricate creativity and thoughts, which leads to global change and innovation is the most brilliant, amazing instrument created, very well being the most significant pinnacle in human progress thus far. What will humans do with this collective power? Weâ€™ll have to wait to see.
Okay now im gonna go smash bottles on my head and punch oak trees
the fucking roads have fucking dents,
which makes no goddamn fucking sense
cause the fucking town is fucking rich
to fucking leave’s a fucking wish
and everyones all fucking white
with fucking cars all fucking bright
so fucking loud theyre fucking heard
everywhere in this suburb
the fucking school is fucking clean
where all the kids are fucking scene
the fucking homes are fucking tall
and fucking nears a fucking mall
the fucking dogs are fucking dumb
and all the cops are fucking scum
my fucking blood is fucking stirred
from living in this dumb suburb
the fucking grass is fucking green
with a boring 50’s color scheme
the fucking food all fucking sucks
and costs too many fucking bucks
im about to stab some fucking kid
no matter what he fucking did
but right now its fucking deferred
so nothing starts in this suburb
I cannot get a fucking date,
cuz all the girls are fucking straight
im fucking going fucking mad
cuz i want to leave so fucking bad
this fucking town is fucking dumb,
I’m fucking sick, I’m fucking done
im here to spread the fucking word:
fuck this shitty fucked suburb
ram ram ram i wanna RAM you into the wall RAM your DAMN face in ram hyfRAM
In modern society it is expected of every citizen to have and maintain a regular work schedule as well as a panoply of organized events which can range from exercise routines, hobby and pragmatic practices to cultural traditions such as celebrating holidays. When stripped of the stability that conforming to time provides, many people transition into a baffled and confused state, rendered helpless to the ambiguity that exists in life outside of routines and schedules.
Personally, I am wildly enamored with and have vehement passion for Chris Mccandless’ philosophy of life: “The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” I believe that the innate nature of humans and their direct roots to animals makes them intrinsically inclined towards a capricious lifestyle, which when forcibly broken down into structure, redundancy and obligation has incredibly devastating effects such as dissatisfaction with life and hopelessness, both of which can manifest as mental illnesses such as depression. When repeatedly bombarded with the prospect of perpetual redundancy day in and day out, people are inevitably going to develop psychological problems.
No animal was biologically engineered to fulfill relentless and repetitious expectations – that’s what computers and robots are conditioned for – not humans or any form of life. Humans were meant to live a lifestyle free of any expectations, predictability or precise ideas of what will happen in the future, that is what true freedom is and every human was born with the intrinsic desire to live a truly free life. This desire is pounded into the ground and manipulated by culture and society until it is merely a small longing that is socially unacceptable to address. It’s actually incredibly sad for me to think about.
I wish to live free of these aspects of modern life as well as free of the comfort and stability that are provided by amenities but at the cost of personal autonomy. Debt, relationships, possessions, permanent residency, all of those are tethers which render you at their mercy, which in itself is a damnation I would like nothing more than to shed myself of. Being reliant on objects, people, circumstances, anything that is outside of the realm of your control is a curse which more than likely will cripple you. Being dependant on such is not necessarily a bad thing either, as deriving substantial benefits from those can be the objective of a person’s life. In fact, it is intrinsic in human nature for a person to found their life on those things, an example being the materialistic culture that exists almost ubiquitously in the world of the bourgeoisie and the tenacious loyalty that resides within a family.
The solution that I’ve envisioned to fulfill this (visceral I will admit) desire of mine is to retreat from my pampered life of comfort (which I feel terribly guilty and unworthy of) and to force myself to live a life of abnegating acquired privileges. I wish to do this by physically abandoning my residency and taking with me only the sheer basics to sustain my health, happiness and obligations. I have no specified destination in mind but the ambiguity of that leaves me with a sense of eagerness. This is all in theory of course and I have much contemplation, planning and organization to do before executing a task/journey of this magnitude.
I can only imagine what it must feel to wake up every day to a different atmosphere and environment, to feel the thrill of wandering and imbibing the beauty of the Earth in all its naked beauty, denuded by the lack of limitations and felt in personal, vulnerable solitude. I’ve been on numerous camping trips before and nothing is as exhilarating as the soulful, passionate connection one feels when exploring the mystic unknown of nature. Soaking in the awesome wonders of an animated forest, embellished with thick curls of coarse boulders and carpeted with rubbery dirt, surrounded by the crisp air and the pulsating warmth of the sun, it’s absolutely beautiful.
I can’t emphasize enough the clarity I feel and the fact that I don’t believe I am oblivious to the dangers that accompany this type of lifestyle. I have little to lose and unfortunately possess a moronic and pompous mindset. Unfortunately I’m the type of person that can only effectively learn a lesson once the consequences of my actions have ensued, akin to lacking the sense to not touch a hot stove, only learning not to after I’ve placed my hand on it. I have nothing to lose and this shall act as my final attempt to live my life “to the fullest” regardless of the risks. What other option do I have? Live within the comfortable circumstances I’ve existed in for my entire life? What sort of existence is that? It’s that very fact that has inclined be towards suicide actually.
I’m a bat shit crazy hippy, who knows.
I hope this post of mine does not come off insensitive or offensive, as it was not intended to attack individuals or even a group of people. This is my personal opinion and do with it what you please. If you decide to throw tomatoes at me I just ask that you make sure they’re gluten free.
After more than a year and a half, I’ve come to hate this place. I was originally enamored with this site because of the intelligent users here and their inclinations to delve into the thought provoking psychology of suicide and the thoughts and philosophy that accompany such a complex concept. Recently I’ve come here and after reading a few posts I’m genuinely disgusted with this place and the repulsed by the victim mentality that maliciously pervades this area.
Many users here (including myself) feel much more comfortable bitching about their problems than actually addressing them and exploring the logic of them to willingly devise a solution or at least make a compromise. There are an incredible myriad of people that have come across crippling circumstances and have been forced to adjust themselves and their lifestyles to accommodate for them. That’s what many users here are not willing to do, but rather consciously stick themselves in a box and then ***** about how they can’t breathe or move around. “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”Â ~ Charles Darwin.Â This is what many of you choose not to do. I’m sorry folks, but there are some circumstances that are perpetual and permanent and nothing can be done to change them. That’s how life sometimes is and the only options left to do are adapt to ever changing circumstances, cry and ***** about how horrible life is to you and how unfair the universe is or choose to off yourself. The choice is yours, but the latter 2 are unproductive and solve nothing.
“It is akin to speaking, showing pictures and reading poems to an overweight woman to try to convince her she is beautiful. She can accept her body and drop it like a hot tamale or she can choose to exercise or diet. And I would support either! But to listen as she complains about her body after her second straight month of pizza, ice cream and fast food, what am I to do?”
Expressing how you feel is fine, but after months and even years of complaining about the same things and going on tirades of how much you hate life is useless. Change will not occur unless you find the motivation to commit to change. Perhaps if you invested the equivalent amount of energy you dedicate to wallowing in self pity and frustration your circumstances might be a bit better? I realize I am the epitome of a hypocrite by writing this, but realizing the error of one’s ways is the first step to changing and I’ve become aware of how pathetic my lifestyle and how to I choose to react to the circumstances that have put me in this position is. I am going to dedicate myself to change and I hope some of you choose to do the same instead of perpetuating the redundant cycle that your life is.
The negativity here is absolutely repugnant, I can’t bear to stay on this site for longer than 10 minutes at a time unless someone has offended another and a dramatic duel between the transgressors ensues. In this case I enjoy taking up the position of being a spectator and hurling offensive references to both parties’ mothers and sexual orientations at them. Sometimes I choose to mediate the actions of Satan and make references to their mothers’ sexual orientations. Anyways, negativity is contagious and so many of you feed off of it, breathe it, drink it, live it. Negativity breeds more negativity and this negativity is what is keeping you tethered to this lifestyle of self pity and ceaseless tantrums of how much the world hates you.
Sometimes these tantrums when expressed publicly are returned with positive reinforcements through pseudo words of comfort and attempts to express false sympathy. That kind of behavior will get you nothing and nowhere in the real world and those words are meaningless. “No one loves me!” “My life is meaningless!” “This cork I shoved in my ass won’t come out!” all of these words are futile to say repetitively for days/weeks/months on end as the initial problem will never be solved. You need to give someone a reason to love you, love is reciprocation and very rarely will anyone love you out of the blue. Approach someone, befriend someone, those are the kind of actions that lead to love of any type. You need to give life meaning, life is objectively meaningless. What are your interests? Your likes and dislikes? Those are starting points for you to create a purpose for yourself. For the latter complaint, the only solution is for you to get that checked out by a certified physician, sorry about that, mate.
Self harm and crying for extended periods of time does not solve anything but merely gives you reasons to pity yourself and continue the vicious cycle you have created for yourself. That kind of lifestyle is akin to a baby, only when you’re older no one will come to your rescue to change your fouled diaper, you must do it yourself this time.
Piss on me all you want, in the end your choices will affect you and you alone. If you choose to continue this type of lifestyle I’m referencing that’s completely your fault, and when you decide to throw another inevitable tantrum on this site I will simply chuckle to myself and indulge in a 53rd bowl of Fenway Fudge ice cream.
That’s my rant for the day, good morning.
I realize this does not apply to everyone, you know what kind of people I’m speaking about here and I’m asking those who are aware of populating that group of people to take this into consideration. If this does not apply to you, move on and go about your day.
Ah such blessed joy is born
when portraits of her eyes adorn
the chamber where my heart resides
imbued with ceaseless bliss inside
the language of my tongue neglects
to propagate the right effect
my spoken words inept to say
you take my fucking breath away
your presence kin to music’s thrill
its beauty prone to swoon and fill
know even heaven’s luster fails
when your smile is compared
may life bring joy as yours does mine
with happiness untouched by time
Happy Valentine’s Day, you slut
Archaic societies as well as contemporary ones are all founded on a corresponding perpetuation of cohesion: enforcement. Some laws are established on common decency, while others’ good intentions are questionable and some are downright tyrannical. Society is defined by a group of people, and people will only remain in a group if there is an incentive to keep them within the community. Some countries explicitly outlaw the notion of emigrating while others are more lax on such affairs. Tethering its population to its estate is the job of the authoritative powers which seek to domesticate its people, cultivate them into ideal citizens. What is an ideal citizen? Is it one that supplies its administrative government with innovation or creativity? Or a mindless conformist whose only task is to serve as a resource for its superiors to reap wealth from? Keeping a large number at people bay is a difficult task, the more modern way being quelling the population’s awareness through indoctrination and induced contentment. A very traditional and conventional way of keeping a nation in line is through fear mongering. Fear based loyalty is present in almost every country, it is more explicit in 3rd world countries than 1st ones that is, but the idea is still identical. The backbone of society is conformity and adherence to the rules enacted within it.
Fear is imposed on a population through exemplifying it, demonstrating it and promoting it constantly and consistently. Methods of propaganda can be implemented to ensure the message becomes ingrained in the audience it is catering to. Many countries in the past have used propaganda and it is a common tool used in any political affair. Propaganda isn’t always the abhorrence its connotation suggests, telling one’s side of the story is bound to come off one-sided. Propaganda’s intention is to instill an idea of a person or party, it does not pertain to its rivals in that particular setting so of course the other side would not be included in its promotion. Propaganda still has its potential to be dangerous and abusive, and most of the time it is. Convincing a person through means of distorted information is deadly as it creates narrow mindedness which is an essential tool in rendering a group of people easy to manipulate.
Fear most commonly stems from the threat of inflicted violence on the population. Orwell’s ‘1984’ is the epitome of this culture I am referencing. This is an effective tool in controlling the population, as almost anyone would submit to another under the threat of pain or bodily harm. Fear and pain go hand in hand with each other and result in quite a formidable ally for the person on the upper end of it. Manipulating people allows for a person to receive massive benefits at others’ expensive, such as wealth, resources and self validation. After amassing absolute power it is easy enough to desire more power and seek it through more violent means. An example of this would be Hitler’s invasion of Poland and his intentions to control most of Europe. Humans intrinsically seek dominance over others as we are pack animals and becoming leaders of a pack is a priority in survival. If you can control a party of others you are more likely to survive than if you were part of the population that is obligated to follow orders from their superiors.
There are many other ways to obligate a community to comply with your demands, such as convincing them with false constructs among others. (which is a component of propaganda as I mentioned earlier) Governments take advantage of these tools and have created a wide array of weapons for themselves to ensure their superiority over those it governs. Many governments are quick to abuse this power and result in absolute atrocity and destruction, both physically as well as intangibly. Capitalism is a silent killer as at face value it seems like a great idea, independent markets and opportunity and whatever arguments have been fabricated to promote it, but in reality is is founded on gluttony and greed (pay as little as you can to your workers, sell as high as you can, make the most profit you can make) and it is the lower class that ultimately suffers.
Even right now, thousands of people are being brutally murdered and this fact goes on without general awareness or care. It is easy to become desensitized to murder/brutality/exploitation when it does not affect us directly, which is why we allow such to happen on such a regular basis. People are quick to smirk at the idea of a rebellion against an abusive government because the abuse that the government is imposing does not affect them personally, when it sure does to others. The only way to create solidarity is to take advantage of our ability to feel empathy. Only a united resistance is capable of revolting against a government that uses these methods of controlling its population. People are easy to dismiss the deadly flaws and consequences of Capitalism because they benefit from that system of government at the expense of others. In this society we do not care about the sweatshop labor that goes into our goods as long as it is cheap for us to buy. This induced contentment is why this pertains to the fear/pain statement I am making. Contentment is the opposite of fear/pain so it is easy to seduce a person with that prospect and convince them of settling for such. Pain/fear mongering is a primitive mean of control and is an explicit taboo in the modern world. We frown upon North Korea and other countries that instill a sense of fear in its people through abuse, yet we are apathetic to what our government does to us, just through different means. Just because you personally are not being abused does not mean that your way of living does not hurt others.