Got way too scared so didn’t do it, and i feel terrible now. I feel like i should have done it already a decade ago, at least i had a partner then, but i also felt weird meeting with a guy online.
Anyway i know i have to do it really soon, I don’t know how to stop being so afraid of changes or the unknown. I don’t want to live in this world.
So i still have a couple of hours before i end it, and I’m actually so afraid of dying alone, and what the hell will happen after death? I know i have to force myself to go through with this, at least i know it will be an almost peaceful way to go. Fuck, i wish someone would be by my side.
Why is writing a letter so tough??
I don’t know what to tell my family. I hate to do this to them, but I don’t see any hope for my life. I don’t want to die alone, but its either this, or feeling like this every day. I don’t even remember my life without anxiety and depression, it feels like this became my personality now.
I hope I won’t fail tomorrow.
I think I have to end it soon. I don’t want to live at all, but I also don’t really want to die. I’m 26 without a degree, working in retail which was okay, but since a lot of people quit, the new environment is so toxic I feel extremely nauseous every time I have to go there. So I basically told everyone I will quit in December but I have no other plans, I’m not educated enough to get a better job, and I have anxiety and meltdowns whenever there’s a change in my life, I have no idea what my problem is, never […]