had a thought today what if i did actually kill myself? one of my siblings or my mother finding me? then telling the whole family/close people relating to my death..tears streamed down my face, yes i do feel sad at times and suicidal and when turning to God i feel He isn’t helping me…although God has a plan for me and things happen for a reason..i cannot see or feel that things are picking up but seeing hurt upon my mother’s eyes? even though i would be dead..my mother going through life with pain and hurt from losing a child, her baby who grew in […]
no matter how hard i try to succeed i ALWAYS fail. I revise solidly then when the grades come up? FAIL making me slip into suicide thoughts deeper…what if i just ended my life..how easy would it be ? death…although they say death is easy..that seems a pretty good way to go in contrast to this tough life- never ending cycle of hardwork and disappointment compared to being forever asleep..no pain..no tears.