Author

lilshit

MDD, dysthymia, BPD... Yup, and to my mother I'm 'normal'. It's hard to be depressed, it's even harder when you have an emotionally unavaliable mother. When your sister says everyhing will get better once I'm out of my parents house. When my father is just a stoic. I have great friends thankfully, but I'm still depressed and I feel guilty that I'm depressed. I deserve to be miserable and that's why I can never give myself the final release of death. I have a deep-rooted sense of self-loathing, I only live because I couldn't hurt the people around me.

I feel like everything is closing in

by lilshit 4/23/2013

written by lilshit

I don’t really know what to say. Sigh. My head is all over the place so I apologise if my thoughts are unorganised or incoherent. Nothing really feels real to me anymore. I know I have dissociation issues, but it’s different this time. It’s as if the behind the scene glimpse I normally get when I de-realise is now permanent. It feels as if I’m just floating through this world which is devoid of all meaning and purpose. I know I should be happy, I feel guilty that I’m depressed. I feel as if I were born into a great situation; upper-middle class family, good […]

4/23/2013 3 comments