My life, in a run down, boring, memory encasing, hell hole, will soon be over. My friends greater than anyone before are taking me out of this place. I’ve lost so many people here, my family, lovers, and some great friends but now I can see it coming to a close. I can’t wait to say Fuck this place, and now go live, have a new beginning. My arm is messed up and my head and body are screaming for this now. I know this is a beginning to something better. I love you, my family, I love you Cristina, I love my friends here, […]
Who?
Who am I? Who are my parents? Who will help me?
What?
What is going on? What will all this accomplish? What do I get from this all? What am I still doing here? What did I do to deserve this?
Where?
Where well I go now? Where will I matter to someone? Where will I die?
When?
When will this be over? When can I just be happy? When will you accept that I don’t belong here?
Why?
Why does this happen to me? Why can’t anyone help me? Why don’t they understand? Why can’t I be happy? Why did you leave? Why […]
The cops were called today. They want to “help”. I just want to die, continue cutting and not live in this hell hole of a town. One of the three!! I have the perfect place to live in a different city with friends that are more willing to help me out than my own family. Now I don’t think I can go to the place I once called home.
I was very sick, that’s what started this and that’s what’s going to finish it. I was blind. All I have to do is stop taking my meds. I don’t know if it’ll be painless, I’m in pain now but I know it’ll be effective. It’ll be slow, but that’ll be my punishment. For there are a few things I wish to do before then.
I’ve been strangling myself with a belt, all day and night. I try so hard to keep it on, but things call me out of my room and I can’t walk out with it around my neck. I don’t want to live but I want to go out this way, as I just relax and watch something until I fade out. I know if I don’t go soon, I’ll lose everything again.