I’m in school, spending more on tuition than I should, trying to get a degree that will let me get a job so I can make money so I can… I don’t know. Die happy? Retire? Help my community? To be fair, those sound appealing, but they’re not worth the pain I’m going through right now. I guess what really kept me going was just trying not to disappoint people. It’s too late now. I’m failing classes and I don’t see a way out. They tell me to get a job and try for internships and all that, but how can I when I don’t […]
What do y’all do when you get in your head? When you isolate because you don’t want to bother someone, even if they tell you they don’t mind. It’s arrogant to think I know their own feelings better than them but I can’t release the thought that they really don’t want to spend time with me, even if they say they do. I certainly am not doubtful that they are doing their best to tell the truth, but I cannot see a good reason why I should stop being invisible. It’s the easy way out, and it’s even easier to rationalize.
Advice, opinions, and thoughts are […]
2am and I’m singing in the shadows
all the lights turned down and my eyes closed
searching for the right words to describe this
but nobody ever listens to the dark
5am I’m waking up and letting go
of all I loved and of all that I’ll never know
I hate my life cause I’m living at an all time low
if breathing’s meant for living, my lungs are in my throat
hide under the covers, crying to myself
so my roommate doesn’t hear my hurting mental health
shove my head into the pillows, life’s a lie no doubt
but f- it if i’ll do it again […]