I found a way out. Haha I found my method… I want to get out. Haha… but I’m unsure of if it’s what I want… I mean it is, in every sense it’s always on my mind; suicide. I can’t pretend I have no one that would care… there are plenty… I suppose I’m just worried about what they will do…I know some are as unstable as i am.. and I’d never wish them to harm themselves….
I am a genderfluid, bisexual (stronger preference for girls), depressed as hell, self harming, masochistic person. The two H’s in life that equal some small degree of happiness are horses and hugs. I got a haircut two days ago that made me feel handsome for the first time ever. But the guy I like didn’t like the new style. Well, that shouldn’t matter but it does. I’m too dependant on others. I need to know if I’ve done something right and self loathe if something goes wrong…
I need a hug. A real one. Instead I cut and grin because my blood runs warm across my […]
I came on this site a LONG time ago and actually met a friend through here… we were both considering suicide three years ago and we are both still alive… We’ve graduated high school, and made it to college, and our colleges are only 30 minutes apart.
But that’s not why I’m posting… I have come back to those thoughts… Well, they never left. But they’ve kept from suffocating me for a while… Until now. Suddenly, these past couple of weeks, I’ve come to the conclusion that I should self harm again and have been. I have been wanting to kill myself but am not sure […]
My friend is going to show me how to cut deeper and get more blood. And since I don’t want to witness him hurting himself, I asked him to cut me in order to show me. He said yes. I find that exciting and can’t wait to do it, hahaha.
Round and round the circle she spun
Hair pinned back by forceful gusts
Tripped and trapped with no way out
Round and round she spun forever
Salt streaks mark where tears had fallen
Her eyes hollowed by years of pain
Sweet misery and the blade that followed
Round and round the cirle she spun
Justice is a liar, truth set on fire
And all of the hurt is burning inside her
She never could hold on
Spinning as she plunged on down…