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MissingMarceline

“We’re your family, we’ll help you.” Biggest lie I’ve ever heard.

by MissingMarceline
written by MissingMarceline

HELP me
What am I doing wrong???
Why can’t you love me for me?

I’m sorry
Sorry sorry sorry sorry

I was never the daughter you wanted, never a good friend, never a good lover, never good enough.
I failed at everything I didn’t know I was suppose to be

Why can’t you love me? You’re suppose to be my family, you said you would always be there…But…

You don’t even see the slits on my skin, didn’t notice the blood, and I never tried to hide it

I want to scream at you, scream at me

But every time I open my mouth there is no sound

I am trapped withing […]

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I can’t get out

by MissingMarceline
written by MissingMarceline

I’m stuck. In my head. I can’t

I don’t

Help me

My words are choking me

I want to get out

I’m afraid and hurt and so fucking angry

and I don’t know why

I don’t want to hurt them anymore

Every time I bleed, they cry. When I drink, they scream.

Am I hurting them by trying to help myself?

Is what I do wrong? I can’t deal with anything and the things that help me cope bring so much pain to those around me.

Should I suffer to save them from myself?

Who will save me?

 

Am I even worth it?

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Voices

by MissingMarceline
written by MissingMarceline

I am a slave to my feelings of you

Trapped inside myself

I’m drowning and lost, feel horribly used

I just can’t break free.

 

I am a slave to the thoughts that you bring

Are we even real?

Confusing the truth with traitorous things

Why can’t I break free?

 

I am a slave to the sound of your voice

Shivers down my spine

My head tells me no, my heart gives no choice

I can not be freed.

 

I am a slave to the beast in my head.

Evil filthy girl.

Cannot be stopped until all my blood’s shed.

She is my Master.

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by MissingMarceline
written by MissingMarceline

I think what hurts the most is that I don’t feel anything anymore. I can’t cry, I can’t scream in anger. I just feel so numb.
I cut deeper and deeper each time but I still don’t feel anything, the sting of the blade is a blessing.
I drink too much, to try to forget, or remember I can’t even tell the difference anymore. There is no concept of time, just a blur of blood and wine.

Sometimes I wish they could see what was happening to me.
It’s like drowning, but I can see everyone else breathing fine.

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