My boyfriend just broke up with me tonight because now he realized he isn’t ready for a relationship because he joined the military. I can’t stop crying. I saw a future with him and then he just killed it. He wants me to still talk to him. How can he expect me to talk to him after he broke my heart? He basically confirmed my beliefs that no one will ever love me. I just feel like shit. I want to kill myself but I can’t. It isn’t that I’m afraid but I know if I kill myself I will be an inconvenience to others. […]
I like to consider myself recovered. However sometimes I still have the thought of suicide enter my brain. It catches me off guard. Sometimes I want to act on it. I don’t exactly want to die. I have a lot I will be leaving behind. I am so tempted to cut though. I crave it actually. I can’t because I’ll get caught by my boyfriend. He will see the cuts and I can’t stop him from seeing them. I want to cut and I hate that I do. I don’t want to get locked up again. Sometime I wonder if I do this all for […]
I am still a cutter. Only occasionally. I do it because I am addicted to it. I imagine this is how smokers feel. I get a high off it that makea me feel alive. Then there is the fun of hiding the cuts. There is one thing that bothers me though. It is the thought that I can see myself dead on ten years by my own hand. I don’t know why but I think I will take my own life. I’m currently mentally stable but I can shake the feeling that someday I won’t and that will be very bad. i honestly feel like […]
So I posted a while ago about cutting. I ended up with my parents seeing it. They took me to the ER I stayed there 3 nights then my first ride in an ambulance was to the psychiatric hospital I was being admitted into. It was such a scary experience. I didn’t even cut myself bad I didn’t even bleed but it did leave scars. I arrived late at night, I had to share a room with a roommate. There was a lot of kids there. Then when I woke up the next morning that I can say was the worst day of my life. […]
So I started cutting for the first time. I don’t like that I have resorted to cutting but there is something about it that I like. I only use scissors not anything deep. It still hurts but I don’t really want to stop. I feel like its the only thing I can control in my life. No one knows I cut I am just making sure I wear long sleeves so no one sees. Cutting seems like a warmup for suicide. Idk I think it helps me deal with my suicidal thoughts better. Does anyone else cut and feel like you have some mental clearity […]
I am only 13 years old. I have suicidal thoughts regularly. I am going to see a doctor soon about it. I just want to die though. Nothing is leading me to kill myself. It is the nothing that is. I just keep thinking, there is really no point for me to be alive tomorrow. It isn’t like my presence will be the biggest deal to the world. I think if I wasn’t afraid to kill myself I would be long gone by now. The thing that bugs me the most is how my parents have reacted to this, they started treating me differently. I […]