mitch1547

Please just know that I’m here if you want to talk. Sorry if I’ve been distant this last week.
I’m so thrilled and happy to know that you’re still alive. I want you to stay that way. If you need space, I understand. Just know that I’m always around.

I love you.
El

Abnormal thoughts told me to put a timer on and wait for a while until you self harm. I know that the urge will go away but at the moment it’s still here!

I just hate this!

Im going to see some friends soon and hopefully this will be a good distraction. I also hope that I’m not going to be the downer of the night.

I just want to stop feeling like this but I don’t think it will ever stop. I really want to cut right now and I’m trying not to.
I want to message my friend and ask them if I can come over for a bit to distract myself but I don’t want to bother them. I don’t want to be that annoying friend. They say ‘come over and talk to us whenever you want to’ but still, I don’t know. I just feel so guilty.

I thought I would just say hello to you guys instead. Hi

Even writing this, I feel weak, ashamed and stupid.
I was bashed and raped a few years ago by a stranger at the public toilets in the city one night.
Ever since then, I’ve just felt broken and lonely. I just feel so tired. It’s like I’m wearing this mask – pretending to be that happy, funny and friendly person that everyone likes. It’s just hard and I can feel the mask slipping and slipping.

I’m trying to be strong but all I want to do it grab my old friend the pocket knife and cut. I even cleaned the knife in boiling water…

He killed me […]