I miss being happy.
I find myself wishing by chance someone will just hit me in a car crash. Shoot me. Stab me. Beat me into a coma. Hell there is bleach in the next room.
I don’t know why I’m so sad, I wrote on here the other day thinking it would help. My life is good after all I am just so tired of looking like I’m so happy when I am not. It takes work putting on a constant show and making appearance. I want to cry…..
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=Rh6qYhF6SCs
I’m losing my mind. I want to be alone. My thoughts are evil and they scare me. I can’t sleep…..when I do I dream and the dreams scare me because when I wake up sometimes I’m convinced they happened….
I feel like I’m living two lives sometimes. I don’t get it it’s confusing. I feel guilty and selish for wishing to be done. Then feel trapped and sick.
Why can’t I just feel normal?
I recently moved to a new city. I left behind my friends, my family, my job of seven years….But I did so to go back to school, start a new career, and be closer to my girlfriend was an added bonus. When I got here everything was great. We talked like we always do shared and supported each other. Now….she barely wants to talk to me even though I have done nothing to merit this. I cook I clean I do laundry vacuum do dishes, so if you’re reading this and thinking oh he’s a guy he probably doesn’t do much to help, ya right […]
I am new to this. I don’t want to talk to my friends or family because they will worry I might do something stupid. And I will be honest, the thought has crossed my mind. But the real issues are how I continually get into a situation where I care SO MUCH about someone and they end up using me for my generosity and my kindness. Omg I could write a freaking book! I am just so tired of being the nice guy when all everyone else sees you as a welcome mat. Oh hi, you’re convenient, I’ll be nice til I wear you down […]
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