It’s the worst feeling in the world being blamed by your own mother for her stress. It hurts what doesn’t she think i have things going on to. That maybe i hide it so i don’t cause her more pain than i already have. Does she not think that maybe i just want a hug and to know that i can talk to her not just the blame every time i do something slightly wrong in her opinion.
The worst feeling for me is when my mum sees my cuts and scars and just gives me the most disgusted look and says “just stop that.. its wrong”.
Thanks mum i feel the love
At home and alone lone is the only time i let my really feelings show. All sadness, pain and hurt. I try to tell people i really do but i just don’t want the looks that you get after. Not only of worry and pity but also the looks of disbelieving from all the people who believe there is nothing wrong. That it’s all for attention. When really your hurting inside.
I have been having worse problems lately. Problem eating, cutting, and just feeling really bad about myself.
Every night i just sit in my room with tears sliding down my face just wonder why do i exist.
I wish i could just disappear and finally be free from all the pain
I just wanna end it. Everyone would be better off not having me around. I ‘m just a waste of space. And everyone including myself knows it. So i should just quit.
Lately i have been feeling worse then ever before and i never thought it was possible. For one me and my mum have been arguing a lot more than usual as well as her always telling me to put more effort into what i do when i’m trying my hardest.
Second the feeling i get when i go to town of people judging me, i use to at least be able to wear shorts and not feel like i was being judged and now it’s every thing from what i wear and how i act.
And thirdly it’s my best guy friend i like him […]
I hear voices taunting me keeping me up at night.
Laughing.
Yelling hateful words at me.
I can’t take it anymore.
I want to cut but i know that’s what they want.
I need help but i know if i tell they will get worse.
Please someone help me.
I can’t take it anymore.
Whenever someone asks me if i’m ok i lie. I fake smile and ask why. They said i was acting different yesterday. I was tired i say. And as i walk away i feel guilt washing over me but i repeat in my head they shall never know, ever.
I tried talking to my friend today.
but when i did she just ignored everything i said
i told her i cut she said cool
i told her i hate my self and she said me to
i left it but in side i was hurting even more then before
I’ve lived my life fake smiling for everyone around me. They all believe i’m okay but i’m not. I hate myself. They way i look, act, breath. I hate all of it. I’m only alive for my best friend. She has kept me going but lately she has been drifting away and i can’t handle it. I hear people give me complements but i don’t believe it i can’t cause whenever they say them i hear a voice say their lying or it’s untrue. I am so insecure because of it. If see some one looking at me i hide my face from their judgement. […]