Being lgbt is hard sometimes
I can’t drink anymore because of what it does to my body but I need something to stop feeling. I have other coping mechanisms but nothing numbs everything like alcohol does. When I was younger I always thought I’d end up as an alcoholic or a drug addict. This reality is too hard to stomach on its own. My meds help but not with depression.
Wtf do I do without alcohol?
I am so tired of managing symptoms, talking to therapists, restraining urges, surviving, getting by, never living as more than that for more than a second. I don’t get anything from therapy anymore. Talking doesn’t make it any easier. That’s why I’m posting here, I just want to get it out, not to be listened to.
I need to stop for a moment. I need to lie down and hibernate or stop existing just for a break. I’m so tired of management and the dry, crushing boredom of ‘recovery’.
Life feels like an endless loop of cleaning up one problem after another and nothing but numbness in […]