i watched my brother hang by a rope. his feet just a foot of the ground. my best friend was dead. the one that meant and means the world to me left me with a snap of a fingure. i watched his face. i watched him sway back and fourth.. i saw my world crash down infront of me… no more goofy laugh.. no more beautiful smile… no more memories made… just pain. just a heart crying out of help while everyone ignores your exsistant… watch my dad hold that gun to his head trying to leave right beside him… i took a knief slit […]
i sit back and watch
watch my father drink his life away
every sip
every beer
another moment gone.
does he not realize?
realize that its killing me??
does he not care???
does he like seeing me in pain
hes clasified as an alcholic…
they say i am one now to..
as soon as i get home im drinking.
now its the pills..
i dont want my boyfriend
i dont want my child
i dont want my step kids
to find me dead…
why can i not get clean???
this high makes me calm…
this high makes my head straight…
this needs to stop…
help dont help me..
makes me wanna do it worse…
i was 6 i didnt know…i wasnt sure.. i was scared….we thought it was harmless….they threatned…. when me and my cousin was 6 we was rapped by my brother and three of his friends untill we was 11… at first we knew nothing about it… then once we realized what was happening we said we would tell well they threatened us… he kept shut…till one day my cousin brother told our parents..everything got out…my dad tried killing himself infront of me… tried to leave me… i started cutting myself…..deeper and deeper…more and more blood… no one would talk about it..everyone wanted to keep it quite…no […]