What is the right thing to do?
Is it to be true to myself and destroy my family, or deny who I am and mask the pain? There’s no middle road. Either I do something that will trigger more guilt than I can handle, or I slide back into repression, denial, and depression. Either way I’m going to end up staring down the barrel of a shotgun. Again.
I love everything about my family. I have it all… except for this ONE GODDAMNED THING. Why do I want it so bad? Why can’t I be rid of these desires?