Author

pikwangchu

Aaaand I’m back

by pikwangchu 3/22/2017

written by pikwangchu

I actually feel quite clean today. Well not exactly. A bunch of hoes are pissing the crap out of me. And i apprently failed my exams again.

anyways. My point is… like suicidal thoughts flash into my mind out of nowhere in the middle of class. Not every time but from time to time. It’s quite scary actually. I’d also think about how people would react to me disappearing. I honestly feel like they wouldn’t care. I mean a lot of them don’t care. Maybe some will but not a lot. Just about 2-3 people would. Out of all 100+ people in school that I know.

I […]

3/22/2017 0 comment

I’m back once more

by pikwangchu 10/3/2016

written by pikwangchu

Just as soon as I thought this school year was gonna be alright. Turns out I was completely wrong.

My so-called bestfriend turned her back towards me. She ignores me like I don’t exist.

One time they played volleyball. One player backed out so my ‘bestfriend’ asked for replacements. i excitedly said “ME!” but the moment I did so, she became disappointed and sad. So I wanted to back out. But then I decided to think “oh maybe it’s just in my head.” Then, before i joined, she was energetic and playing real hard. But as I joined, she became lousy and as if she wanted to […]

10/3/2016 9 comments

Long time no post here…

by pikwangchu 7/20/2016

written by pikwangchu

Tell me…

Am I useful to this world?

I mean, from what I see, i’m useless.

So I’m here to rant about myself.

I’m unaccepted, i was never able to be super comfortable in a group of friends.

I’m troublesome, i’ve always caused my parents a lot of trouble. It’s to the point where i blame myself about my father’s heart attack about one and a half year from now.

I’m an accident, my parents never planned me out. i almost killed my mother when i was born. i’ve been called ‘adopted’ a million of times throughout my short time of living.

I’m mentally suicidal, if that made any sense at all, […]

7/20/2016 2 comments

I’m here to express what I feel.

by pikwangchu 8/11/2015

written by pikwangchu

I still haven’t moved on from that fight between me and a bunch of fake friends.

The pain in my head just makes everything worse.

Half-heartedly, I tried my best to look strong. But to no success.

Under the rain, I would be weeping as I kept thinking about it.

Rather than having a fun young life, I refused to do so. I am always at home.

The atmosphere between me and those backstabbers will be awkward on school days.

Sadly, I can’t avoid it as we are in the same class.

Now what do I feel? Put all the initials of every paragraph together.

IT HURTS

8/11/2015 0 comment

I’ve felt a lot of suffering and pain. As well as depression.

by pikwangchu 8/1/2015

written by pikwangchu

I used to be a very cheerful girl until the day I transferred to a new school. I thought people would accept me if I came here. I mean like this place isn’t my hometown neither is it my home country.

On my first day to this school, I introduced myself with hesitation and nervousness. At the break time, it felt like as if I was already accepted. But I thought way too fast and got it wrong. I was verbally bullied on my first day. I was talked about around the class for that time. But then soon enough they ‘befriended’ […]

8/1/2015 8 comments