I woke up crying this morning. I dreamt that I ran into my daughter’s grandmother at the mall. Only she pretended not to see me. As I walked closer it became more obvious her attempt was to look directly at my face.  In my dream I remembered the letter I had just written and planned to tell her that she would be receiving it in the mail soon. Only didn’t say anything, but she looked at me all of the sudden as if I had. She began to laugh at me and ask me “if that was all†she looked to her friends beside her, […]
I am emotionally numb. I recognize that my emotions are there deep beneath but I do not connect with them. Almost as if they are not real. As if I’m possibly inventing them, in an attempt to pacify a need in me to be normal and socially accepted. I don’t know if I’m depressed. I don’t know if what I feel is anxiety. I can’t speak in public and don’t leave my house much because I don’t want to socialize due to my negative self-image and inability to really empathize with others adequately. But is that considered anxiety? I don’t know. Sometimes […]