Round and round it goes. I’ve learned a lot. I don’t know if any of it is true.
I still seek, in a desperate, physical sense, some kind of “miracle”. Somewhere out there is The Truth that will set me free from all of this… there’s a right configuration of thoughts and beliefs that will unlock my potential, just like that… You would think that somebody who studied cults as a hobby would know better, that I would have internalized the knowledge that there is no such thing as absolution, that it’s all smoke and mirrors, nothing more than chemical manipulation…