Author

Rey

Ethnic, Kiwi girl. Fighting a relapse - losing majorly.

Happy Birthday to our mate and SP regular Shephard!!

by Rey 10/8/2014

written by Rey

For those of you who don’t know big dawg Shep, he’s one of SP’s regulars. Shep’s your everyday good sort who always has a kind word to say to those at their most vulnerable. Many here really appreciate the input and presence Shep has on the site. Birthdays are pretty freaky times for everyone (I had some low moments during mine last week), so I thought this could be a good place to show some love!

Warm wishes for your 21st mate! Thanks for being an all-round great guy. Love your sense of humour (when you grace us with it :P), and the insight you offer […]

10/8/2014 44 comments

I’m surrounded by normal people.

by Rey 8/26/2014

written by Rey

Everyone in their happy-go-lucky lives ran into me today. “OMG x and I are getting married!”, “I am so excited, I’m going to be a mom in 6 weeks!”, “We’re going away to Rarotonga in a few weeks.” Ugh.

Meanwhile I spent an evening lying on my shower floor crying.

8/26/2014 15 comments

Tough week.

by Rey 8/25/2014

written by Rey

It’s like being at sea and seeing a hurricane approaching. Same feeling in the pit of your stomach, the awe at the power of the beast called nature.

It sucks when every week becomes another storm to weather. I can’t remember the last time where I wasn’t terrified.

I just want want some relief. How have I sinned to deserve this shit being thrown at me?

8/25/2014 3 comments

What do you find supportive?

by Rey 8/22/2014

written by Rey

I want to know what you really would like to see from people who are supporting you?

I see these ads for a self-help depression website on TV and online a lot. It’s depression.org.nz and it’s for New Zealanders (though I’d imagine others can access it). Heaps of the media messages have been about getting out there and telling people, family and friends, about how you are feeling. However no mass-media campaign in NZ has yet to inform people specifically how they can help.

Since I started talking about my experience, I’ve had mixed reactions to my struggles ranging from “Oh that sounds hard” to “Don’t worry, sometimes […]

8/22/2014 2 comments

Triggers: The person you love.

by Rey 8/20/2014

written by Rey

The last thing he ever said to me was “I question the authenticity to the ‘horrors’ you describe as having happened to you.”

We broke up 3 months ago and I saw him for the first time today. Just walked past me, 3 seconds all up. It left me fucked for the rest of the day. I didn’t think someone who loved me, brought me into his home to meet his family, could deny the existence of my struggle in such a malicious way.

I feel like an idiot for still loving him.

8/20/2014 5 comments

Fighting a relapse.

by Rey 7/19/2014

written by Rey

Hi.

This is my first post. I should probably introduce myself.

I am a 21 year old girl living in New Zealand. I first began to notice a dip in my mood when I was 12-13 but understandably at that age I couldn’t quite get what the feelings were a symptom of. I constantly hit what I thought was rock bottom only to find myself continuing to slide down. I spend years battling it, as well as an accompanying eating disorder, and finally recovered fully in 2013.

I decided to leave home in order to continue my recovery journey. I have been living on my own for the […]

7/19/2014 7 comments