Sometimes it’s ecstasy. Â Trying to sleep, thinking colors and music all blending so loud, I’m afraid my brain noise will wake up my husband. Most of the time, though, it feels like a struggle to breathe. Â Each respiration is an affirmation of life, and I become less and less willing to affirm this life, terrible gift, that was bestowed on me. Since I fell into these moods at 11, the age of 30 seems like a nice round number with no regrets. Â Right now, deep in the darkness, I count the days until then. Â Less than three years til that birthday, just waiting for this […]
