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Shows that even when we feel our weakest, we are the bravest at making the final choice. Welcome other views on this piece, affected me very much.

December 5, 2013
The Irony of Despair
By DAVID BROOKS
We’ve made some progress in understanding mental illnesses over the past few decades, and even come up with drugs to help ameliorate their effects. But we have not made any headway against suicide.

According to the World Health Organization, global suicide rates have increased by 60 percent over the past 45 years. The increase in this country is nothing like that, but between 1999 and 2010, the […]

I have been thinking alot about my final “playlist” — songs that emphatically speak to my despair and support my decision to die. Here are a few: Eddie Vedder’s entire “Into the Wild” soundtrack; “Find the River” “Aftermath,” “Try Not to Breathe” and of course “Its The End of the World As We Know It” from Michael Stipe and REM. Jeff Buckley or KD Lang’s “Hallelujah” open to all styles and motifs, but wonder what other folks have as their misery songs.

How do you ask for treatment? So much of what I hope people see — pain, constriction, sleep deprivation, innner agony, loss of interest in surroundings, absence of pleasue – they do not. Even doctors seem reluctant to understand the seriousness of my situation unless I literally announce I am killing myself in their presence. Yet, I have plans to do so, well thought out and extremely carefully developed and ready to be executed. Everyone is so busy with their other patients, their other lives, no one sees my anguish and my inner commitment to closure, once and for all. I […]

Anyone here have experience with this therapy? I have started on a low dose to reduce anxiety and slow suicidal ideation. Not sure its done either yet, but that may be a dosage issue. Side effects? Benefits? Any experience appreciated. Thank you.

Nightmares, day disturbances, relentless voices urging me to reboot and end it, anxiety and soul crunching depression. Sure folks here have felt this. Am too “well” to be in the hospital but too sick to be out. Can people to relate  to this place in time?  is there a general view, positive or negative about inpatient treatment?

So in my diverse and disparate search for a less traumatic but yet certifiable death … I have waded, excuse the pun, into the waters of drowning. In an isolated lake or river, simply walking into my death with a backpack heavy with rocks and other hard objects that will keep me from coming up. Literally just walking into the water abyss, diving deep (no trauma from bridge jumping) and letting the weights sink me to the bottom where I will be unconscious in minutes. Have others contemplated drowning and what if any methods or materials have you considered in the process? […]