Schopenhauer

I have given up on this existence, but not on existing itself.

I do not know what comes next, I can only speculate.

Perhaps, you go simply wherever you believe you’ll go. Perhaps you become a ghost for some time. Perhaps you ascend into a different reality. Perhaps you merge with the light.All seems good to me.

My action is a terribly selfish one. But one cannot live on parental love alone.

In a world where all is unstable, and nought can endure, but is swept
onwards at once in the hurrying whirlpool of change; where a man, if
he is to keep erect at all, must always be advancing and moving, like
an acrobat on a rope–in such a world, happiness in inconceivable.
How can it dwell where, as Plato says,  continual Becoming and never
Being is the sole form of existence? In the first place, a man never
is happy, but spends his whole life in striving after something which
he thinks will make him so; he seldom attains his goal, and when he
does, […]